It is quite stressful helplessly sitting by watching the days slip away and realizing the clock is ticking on college application deadlines. Any attempt to motivate your senior seems to lead to irritation, arguments, tears and pleas to “just leave me alone” or “I’ll get to it.” Dreams of completing the Common App essay and the supplemental essays during the summer have flown out the window. Now your senior needs to keep on top of current schoolwork AND negotiate extra writing to boot.
As stressful as this is, parents, don’t despair. It IS possible to get the essays done. Here are the steps I would take at this point:
Schedule a meeting with your student. Give them a couple of choices regarding meeting days and times and promise that the meeting will be short.
Once the meeting is scheduled, think of ways to make it as pleasant as possible. Perhaps you can go out to a coffee shop, or pick up your student’s favorite Starbucks drink, and/or provide a favorite snack or meal.
Set a time limit for your meeting. I recommend no longer than 45 minutes (30 minutes if your student has ADHD/ADD). Set a timer and end the meeting precisely on the dot, unless your student begs you to go longer.
Have the Common App prompts pulled up and take a minute to read them over quickly with your student. (Note, though, that I often have students write first and THEN find the prompt that best fits.)
Take a moment to read some sample essays. The site I most like to use is Johns Hopkins Essays That Worked. These highly creative essays are very inspirational. The only downside is that they are so good, they can get discouraging. So, don’t read too many; just a few!
Take another moment to brainstorm activities, hobbies, talents, interesting life events, meaningful moments, etc . . . . If pssible do this in a creative way - ie. by using markers and a big sketch pad, or multicolored pens. One student I worked with had a table in their basement rec room covered in sticky notes labeled with activities, talents, and hobbies - like soccer, cooking, engineering club, etc . . . She also had stickers indicating her roles in life and salient facts about her identity - daughter, friend, biracial, girl in STEM, sister to an autistic brother,. . .
Have your student do a ten-minute free write on one of the topics that emerged in your brainstorming session.
Plan ahead for next writing session. For the first week after your meeting, set one time during the week that the student will try another ten-minute free write, either on a new topic or as a continuation of the prior topic used. Ask them what day they think they might be able to do this.
Decide when your next meeting will be. Ideally, one week later.
One key thing to see is whether your student is able to get any writing done on their own. If not, schedule short meetings twice per week (after the first week where your student will attempt one session on their own) where you will sit with them as they write. Have them pull up the document they are working on, set a timer for 10 minute increments, and then work quietly and calmly right nearby either on your computer checking emails, reading a book, knitting or something of that nature.
If all else fails, consider hiring a consultant to help you through the process. I have spent many years working with students on their college essays and parents report enjoying the peace and stress-reduction achieved when someone else is handling the process and making sure everything gets done.
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